"I've tried finding coaches/consultants a few times and it's been a hit or miss experience for me. How do you choose the right one?"
It's a common and very valid question.
So here's the 8 step process I use when I hire coaches myself.
Step 1-3: Understand where/if I need coaching
I start by asking myself three questions:
- Do I understand the problem that is getting in the way of my success?
- Do I know the solution, but not at the depth required?
- Do I know the solution, but struggle to execute it?
I take the “I don’t know what I don’t know” mindset here. A common trait among the top coaches and mentors I have worked with, from special forces to martial arts to business, has been their ability to see beyond what I think my problem is.
I would say, “I have an issue with X. What should I do?”
And they would respond, “Good question, but X is just a downstream effect of a deeper issue you are not seeing. Let’s address that more important problem, and X will resolve as a result.”
If a coach cannot see deeper than my initial description of the problem, or simply accepts it at face value, that is usually a red flag.
Steps 4-5: Understand if this is the right person
I break this down into technical aspects and "soft aspects".
Technical aspects:
4. Can this consultant/coach help me implement a solution that will lead to success?
Does he have a proven track record of helping other people who are in my current spot get to my desired end goal.
5. Am I ok with the risk/reward ratio (i.e their fee vs the potential upside)
To do this I write down what the best case, worst cause and plausible case scenarios are for working with them as far as the upside vs downside... I also try to assess how easy it would be for me to at least hit the "break even" point where I can make a return on my investment.
Steps 6-8: "Soft" Aspects (Do our values align)?
This is something I failed to do once with an expensive consultant, and I regretted it quickly. They delivered exceptionally on all the technical aspects, but because our values didn’t align, their suggestions were not ones I wanted to implement
I try to understand this by doing the following:
6. Investigate their content/messaging
I have a rule that I do not get on a call with someone until I have read at least three pieces of their content and watched some of their videos to understand what they are about and how they conduct business.
7. The lunch test
One way I assess whether to take someone on as a client is by asking myself, ‘If this person did not pay me anything and I did not solve their mindset problems, would we still enjoy going out to lunch together?’
That simple question helps me get clear on whether we are a good fit in terms of values and ethics, and whether I would want to play a long-term game with them.
This approach has served me well, so I use the same question when I hire a coach.
8. I ask them what their values are
I straight up ask "What are the values that steer you in business?" and if they don't seem like they would fit in with my top 3 values, I know to tread with caution.
P.S.
During my first day of the undercover agent course, our head instructor sat us down and explained it like this:
“You are all ex–special forces and you have already passed the qualification to be here.
As long as you show up every day with the right attitude, stay coachable, and do your best, if you do not succeed, that is on me and I should lose my job.”
He was essentially saying, “If you are here and you make the effort, it is my responsibility to make sure you succeed.”
Clarifying titles such as coach, consultant, or mentor is important, and understanding the technical aspects matters. But at the end of the day, it is far more important to expect leadership and ownership from the person you choose to work with.
Beyond titles, I suggest looking for someone who:
- Can confidently determine who is and is not a good fit
- Takes personal responsibility and ownership for their client’s process
In an industry like coaching, where the barrier to entry is low, many people do not accept the weight and responsibility of leadership. Make sure you find someone who does.
P.P.S.
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