People focus on "Being in the present and living in the 'now'" yet they're miserable.
Instead of feeling more at peace, there’s a sense of anxiety, frustration and stress.
Why is that?
"Living in the now" usually leads to a surface-level depth of happiness but leaves an underlying feeling of confusion and lack of fulfillment. Generating actions based on "being present in the now" will lead your mind to seek instant gratification and avoid meaningful challenges.
Why is that?
When we make decisions "in the now" or based on how we expect to feel/think in the moment, we give in to our weaknesses and make decisions we regret.
We end up optimizing for comfort instead of pride.
And you know what's an easy way to feel miserable? Not being proud of who you are.
Growth is an uncomfortable process, and the sooner we accept that pain, discomfort, and fear will be present when venturing out of our comfort zone, the sooner we can start doing things we'll be proud of.
Sometimes, even the nonexistent perceived threat of "what if this happens" can lead to regretful decisions based on seeking short-term comfort or safety.
Doing this repeatedly will lead to misery and a sense of self-loathing. Just like we don't respect cowards who do what's comfortable instead of what's right, we won't respect ourselves if we do the same.
It also won't lead to true freedom—one that's earned and can be shared with others.
It's crucial to remember that pain, discomfort, and fear eventually subside, and all we're left with is our sense of pride.
A sense of, "Did I step up and overcome or did I fold and succumb to the weaknesses of my mind?"
So, what's the easiest way to stop letting your mind take you hostage and force you to make short-sighted, fear-based decisions?
Stop living and thinking in the now.
If, before taking action, you ask yourself, "How will I view this decision in hindsight? How will I look back at this in 10 years when the momentary pain, discomfort and fear will have subsided?"
If you do that, everything will change.
You'll make better real-time decisions, gain immense self-satisfaction/confidence and achieve true freedom.
And no, it doesn't mean you must shut off your emotions and never be present. It just means that there's a time and place for everything.
Be present when you're intentionally relaxing or enjoying the fruits of your labor. When it's time to execute, forget about how you feel in the moment.
I learned this after I had stumbled in the Special Forces. My older brother shared a common saying in the special ops community: "Pain is temporary. Pride is forever."
It hit home for me, and it could have an impact for you.
Deciding to make your decisions in hindsight will help you remember that. It will help you earn that sense of pride that you crave because you know that you've lived up to your true potential. You've chosen to act in defiance of any short-term discomfort, fear, or pain because you're better than that.
It helps you avoid looking back on life with regret.
Everything will change when you start making decisions based on how you will look back at them in hindsight 5-10 years down the line instead of how you feel right now.
You will be more compelled to do "the hard things" because you have context. Those same hard things will also become dramatically easier because you understand WHY they're worth doing.
So, how can you ensure that you make effective decisions that your future self will want to look back on with pride?
Clarify the life you want to live.
Strategically break down what's necessary for that to become a reality.
Clarify who you must evolve into to make that happen.
Identify the gaps between your current self and this upgraded version of yourself.
Uncover, face and overcome the false beliefs and fears holding you back.
Decide to make your decisions in hindsight. When at a crossroads, ask yourself, "What should someone else do if they want to achieve my goals?" And then do that.
Momentary pain, discomfort, and fear eventually subside, and all we're left with is our sense of pride—a sense of "Did I step up and overcome, or did I fold and succumb to what felt easier in the moment?"
In short, face the discomfort that growth requires, make your decisions based on how you'll look back on them, and remember that "Pain is temporary, pride is forever."
For most people, pride is a much deeper feeling than pleasure or comfort.
Paradoxically, instead of "Living in the now," asking yourself, "What will I be proud of in hindsight?" is your path to feeling better about yourself, the person you're choosing to be and the life you're leading.
Who dares wins,
Itamar
