Still chasing confidence before taking action? That’s the trap.
This episode breaks down why imposter syndrome isn’t about competence, it’s a psychological glitch from survival wiring. You’ll learn how to strip emotions from decisions, use objectivity as a weapon, and move even when it feels uncomfortable.
Itamar shares two practical tools to beat imposter syndrome fast that he uses both with himself and his biggest clients.
*
Pre-order Itamar’s book “Elite Performance” at https://itamarmarani.com/book/
If you’re ready to get unstuck and take both yourself and your business to the next level, apply to The Arena here: https://itamarmarani.com/apply
Get the Extreme Clarity Tool To Uncover The #1 Action To Grow Your Business: https://itamarmarani.com/clarity
Sign up for “3 Quick Ideas Tuesday” (weekly 2 minute newsletter around mindset and emotional fortitude): https://itamarmarani.com/3-ideas/
00:00:00:00 - 00:00:18:15
Itamar Marani
Is a different flavor of discomfort, a specific flavor of feeling like an imposter. You won't feel like an imposter if you're doing something that's three levels below what you're actually capable of, you'll feel confident. I am still going to have a part of me that's going to feel, for whatever reason, like an imposter and a way to override that and to simplify a lot of things is to say...
00:00:18:17 - 00:00:38:22
Itamar Marani
Welcome to today's podcast, everyone. Today, we're going to be talking about how to actually crush imposter syndrome and why it's not to do with most people think about how to become more competent or just solve a certain competence gap. But why? It's about actually crushing a certain psychological glitch that we all have. So on that note, Alex, welcome to the pod.
00:00:39:00 - 00:00:40:09
Itamar Marani
Thanks for coming on. Thank you.
00:00:40:11 - 00:00:46:21
Alex De Fina
Thank you, Ira. Feeling like a bit of an imposter right now, but I'll do my best to contribute.
00:00:46:23 - 00:01:07:03
Itamar Marani
So you start out that way because it's the big thing. It's feeling like an imposter. And that's the key thing. That the biggest challenge with imposter syndrome is that we feel it, even though it's not accurate at times. Now, are there times when people do things they shouldn't be doing and put themselves in positions where they're not competent to be it?
00:01:07:05 - 00:01:30:20
Itamar Marani
Absolutely. But are there also a lot of times where people actually hold themselves back from doing something or taking on something they could absolutely be capable of achieving because they don't feel like it's ready or they're not ready? And that's what I want to talk about today. Basically, how to differentiate between if you're having a valid concern that I shouldn't be doing this or if it's just a feeling that you're having that I don't feel ready.
00:01:30:20 - 00:01:45:00
Itamar Marani
I feel like a bit of an imposter. You just need to learn to get over and accept that. That's just a feeling you're going to have. How We talked in the previous episode about growth is going to be uncomfortable. This is just an uncomfortable feeling. It's a different flavor of discomfort, a specific flavor of feeling like an imposter.
00:01:45:02 - 00:01:50:05
Itamar Marani
And so on that note, anything you want to ask around before we get going?
00:01:50:07 - 00:02:06:01
Alex De Fina
No, no questions. Have also had my own experiences with it to some degree. But you are really interested to get into something deeper and to find out how I can understand this and if I do, I do understand that it affects a lot of entrepreneurs. So interested to hear your take on it.
00:02:06:03 - 00:02:26:00
Itamar Marani
Yeah, of course I'll share mine. So first of all, before we get into that, I'll say that I've experienced it all and I still experience it. And it's a big thing to understand that. It's just it's part of life. It's part of that discomfort that we feel as part of growth and striving for bigger things, that goals that are bigger than what we currently can achieve but are still within sane logic it's called.
00:02:26:02 - 00:02:51:18
Itamar Marani
So I want to share this that, and we'll just call this one archetype of the entrepreneur. David But it's so many of these people that I meet that they're under charging or they're keeping their company really small or hiring people that are below the grade. They should be hiring because they don't feel fully comfortable going for it. They feel like, Who am I to do this?
00:02:51:18 - 00:03:24:05
Itamar Marani
Am I good enough or my capable enough? All these kind of things. Now, the interesting thing is that everybody tells them you should be doing other stuff. You should be going bigger, like the objective outsider, the people that actually know their business are mastermind buddies, coaches, friends, the spouse, whatever it may be. Okay, this doesn't make sense. You're actually very competent and you should be at least going for one tier above what you're doing now, whether with your pricing, the people you're hiring, or just your ambition of what you're trying to do, but they don't feel comfortable about it.
00:03:24:07 - 00:03:49:19
Itamar Marani
So that imposter syndrome wins out because they don't feel ready. Now, is that sound familiar? Alex? Yes. Yeah. Same. And it's it happens to me as well. Like, I think this is something really important to explain it. It's just a part of the experience that we have and growth. Like, the reality is, again, it's cliche, but we're wired to survive, not to thrive.
00:03:49:21 - 00:04:08:11
Itamar Marani
And whenever we're doing something that's at our competency level, not way, way below it, where there's a giant margin of safety, we feel like there's a little bit of risk there. Someone might say this or this might happen, or that would be whatever it may be. So naturally, what our brain thinks is like, Oh, this is a legitimate danger.
00:04:08:13 - 00:04:25:21
Itamar Marani
It's like life and death. We're back in the savannah a hundred thousand years ago. That's how it evolved. And it kicks into overdrive and all of a sudden it says, Oh, if you feel even a little bit of imposter syndrome, like you're not fully hundred percent sure they have a giant safe margin of safety and drop yourself down a couple rungs and only do that, that feels safe.
00:04:25:23 - 00:04:58:18
Itamar Marani
You won't feel like an imposter if you're doing something that's three levels below what you're actually capable of, you'll feel confident. And while that kind of behavior that your brain tries to trick you into doing might feel safe, it's not effective in getting toward your goals. And it's also completely unnecessary and not rooted in current reality. Now and again, this is a really big thing imposter syndrome and all of these psychological let's most of these psychological glitches that we have came from evolution and the way we evolved was in a very, very different environment than we are in today.
00:04:58:19 - 00:05:18:08
Itamar Marani
And if we're not aware of these and call it evolutionary glitches that we've picked up along the way and how they don't translate in today's world, they really hold us back. They were meant to help us survive. The stakes are much higher. Life and death and danger was much, much bigger. But now there's kind of hold us back and they're not valid.
00:05:18:10 - 00:05:26:17
Itamar Marani
They feel feel like a really big deal. To me, something is confusing to listening to our feelings, and they're not valid.
00:05:26:18 - 00:05:53:22
Alex De Fina
I think that's an important to try to turn this into a history lesson, but I think that's an important recognition of current reality. In contrast to how most people have done things up until now, it's normal for people to change careers wildly. Several times in their life. Today, that wasn't always the case. If we are locked into a lane and you just can't do that thing forever.
00:05:54:00 - 00:06:23:23
Alex De Fina
And with information sharing, the advent of internet, social media, etc., not only do people change careers or domains quite frequently, but there is a sense of, you know, if I could make it or so brand yourself as one thing. Do you think that is further compounding this imposter syndrome that seems to affect a lot of entrepreneurs today?
00:06:24:01 - 00:06:33:01
Itamar Marani
To clarify, you're asking of them seeing that some people out there are just putting themselves out there when they shouldn't be. Is that making them more hesitant to do so?
00:06:33:03 - 00:07:00:17
Alex De Fina
Yeah, to to market it like a thousand years ago, if I was a blacksmith be asking what we be doing five years from now, it's probably being a slightly better blacksmith. Whereas today you could shift between real estate to launching a technology service company to something else. And each time you stepping into a new arena, you're going is probably going to be the intrinsic question of how well do I understand what I'm doing right now?
00:07:00:19 - 00:07:19:05
Alex De Fina
Do you think that current reality of people shifting industries quite frequently and being, I guess, pretty or having a snapshot of people's lives and that's a comparison trap is further compounding disempower off the syndrome?
00:07:19:07 - 00:07:39:08
Itamar Marani
To be honest, I think the people that are shifting industries and doing those kind of things are actually less affected by it. If they were affected by the imposter syndrome, they wouldn't be doing that. And what you gave is a it's a great example of very extreme. It's not just a level up, but it's an entire shift to a different, entirely different thing.
00:07:39:10 - 00:08:01:22
Itamar Marani
And I think if someone's comfortable doing that, then they're probably not heavily affected by imposter syndrome. It's like most traits we we all have a little bit of them, but in just very varied amounts. And some of that is nature or some of that is nurture. And I think where this gets interesting is that again, let's assume that if someone's very comfortable switching to a new career and just going for it, they don't feel a lot of imposter syndrome.
00:08:01:22 - 00:08:18:04
Itamar Marani
It's something that holds them back. But if someone is afraid to do that, even though logically it makes sense, they're in a dying industry, for example, it doesn't make sense to do that anymore, but it's just who they've been. Or on a smaller level, they're just afraid to take their life, their business, whatever it may be, to the next level.
00:08:18:06 - 00:08:41:01
Itamar Marani
Because like, oh, this is just I'm comfortable here, even though they really want to go there and it's either they're comfortable or they're just scared to go. Those are the people that are actually getting impacted by imposter syndrome. Like for me and you as an objective outsider, we can say, Hey man, this is a dying industry. Even if you need to start over, that would be the wise thing to do.
00:08:41:03 - 00:09:06:04
Itamar Marani
But for them internally, how they see the world just I feel really scared to do this. Maybe I'm not good enough. Old people say, Well, people think what's going to happen? So the way I try to frame this again is that the way to know if imposter syndrome is valid or not is what would an objective outsider say?
00:09:06:06 - 00:09:12:11
Itamar Marani
For example, Alex, do you think I should write a book about elite performance? Yes. Dive for.
00:09:12:13 - 00:09:13:10
Alex De Fina
Course.
00:09:13:12 - 00:09:43:06
Itamar Marani
I sometimes I agree with that logically. Sometimes I don't feel that way that I can always if there's going to be a part in my mind, it's always going to say, Hey, but from that first unit, there were people that were a lot better than you, and you work out from that first unit when you were 18 or like you haven't worked with a lot of billionaires yet, so maybe you don't have this merit and just accepting there's always going to be that little bit of voice of doubt, even though you as an objective outsider, even me, when I'm calm and I'm clear and you write things down and whatever accomplished what I've done, what
00:09:43:06 - 00:10:03:00
Itamar Marani
I've helped people do, it's actually much more important. Yes, someone like that should be able to write a book about their performance. That's I am still going to have a pardon me. It's going to feel, for whatever reason, like an imposter. And I think a lot of that is accepting that, that we have that part in us. But it doesn't mean it's valid.
00:10:03:02 - 00:10:15:10
Itamar Marani
It's just a feeling. It's one of the flavors of discomfort that we need to accept because it's there. I feel it. I'm not nice, but keep going anyway.
00:10:15:12 - 00:10:32:06
Alex De Fina
The process of documenting your thoughts down, do you feel that there's something cathartic in that? Which during that process it forces you to go into strategic thinking as opposed to staying in the amygdala and giving too much gravity to going down?
00:10:32:08 - 00:10:55:05
Itamar Marani
Yeah, for me, for me personally, it's not cathartic. It's painful. Truthfully, it's very uncomfortable because what would be more cathartic, for example, would be like, Oh, maybe I shouldn't do this. That's easier, that feels more comfortable. But actually it's a it's a confrontation where you're putting down facts like, okay, this is actually what I've done, what I've helped other people do, what other people say I should be doing.
00:10:55:05 - 00:11:11:12
Itamar Marani
Like how you're saying right now you should write a book. But I don't feel comfortable with that initially. It's a wholly partizan thing. I don't feel comfortable. So it creates this very kind of aggressive confrontation of Here's the truth, here's how I feel. Fuck, I want to be the kind of person who does what is actually the truth.
00:11:11:12 - 00:11:21:08
Itamar Marani
Regardless of how I feel, if I know it's the right thing to do. So I've got to do this thing that's the right thing for me to do.
00:11:21:10 - 00:11:49:19
Alex De Fina
Because logically, when you force yourself to think about it logically, you can accept that you've achieved incredible things in your former life, in your current life, and so you can understand the landscape more accurately, as opposed to if you're trying to position yourself as the greatest wedding planner, you should feel imposter syndrome. Yeah, because I'm not sure how many weddings you plan, but probably not many.
00:11:49:21 - 00:12:17:18
Alex De Fina
And so I think that that disconnect of what am I actually doing or self-promoting is, is important because I think that that's where we can either get more accurate. Actually don't just take an incremental gamble here. I'm doing something at a slightly higher level than before, and that's what this stuff is coming from, as opposed to doing something entirely new and wondering why we're feeling like an imposter.
00:12:17:18 - 00:12:46:11
Alex De Fina
So no, nobody feels like when you learn how to drive a car. I should I should know this. I'm 14 years old. I should know this. No, I understand. I'm a student in a situation and that it's all just stacking skills along the way. But if I feel like I'm an amazing entrepreneur and then I get a bankruptcy petition against me or something else, then it could come from an identity gap as opposed to actually a skills gap.
00:12:46:13 - 00:13:00:00
Itamar Marani
Yeah. And I think what you're saying there is a big part of it is like, what is the risk I'm taking on this? The real world risk. So for example, if I was like, let me ask you, do you think I should write a book about wedding planning?
00:13:00:02 - 00:13:01:04
Alex De Fina
Definitely not.
00:13:01:06 - 00:13:07:12
Itamar Marani
Definitely not. Do you prefer to charge someone 100 K to plan their wedding?
00:13:07:14 - 00:13:08:21
Alex De Fina
No.
00:13:08:23 - 00:13:27:22
Itamar Marani
Great. Do you think that if I said, you know what? I want to stop performance coaching and I'm going to charge a friend and I'm like, You know what I found? My passion. My passion is wedding planning. And I'm going to charge a friend who's planning their wedding. But, hey, listen, if you pay me to pay for this thing, I'm going to, like, dump all my resources, all my energy.
00:13:27:22 - 00:13:34:19
Itamar Marani
I'm going to make you have a phenomenal wedding. Do you think that would be fair for everybody? That would be a good idea for me to start.
00:13:34:21 - 00:13:35:20
Alex De Fina
Yes.
00:13:35:22 - 00:13:55:17
Itamar Marani
Great. So that's what we did here. We just separated and we said, okay, what would an outsider say is realistic, even if it's a completely new endeavor? What is fair? And it's not going to cause you to do something unethical, which is, I think, a big part of when we see people that are faking it till you make it, it feels like they're doing something unethical and oftentimes is that's how you separate it.
00:13:55:19 - 00:14:17:01
Itamar Marani
Now it's kind of like a little step back to me in ways I like to overcome. Imposter syndrome first. If you can have someone that's an objective outsider, say what you should be doing, so you break it down. This is where we are. This is where we're doing this, where we've achieved. These are setbacks. Great. What do you think I should be Our goals as a company?
00:14:17:03 - 00:14:31:07
Itamar Marani
BE okay. That's I guess, what we should be doing, regardless of how I feel, because I'm going to have my insecurities, I'm going to have my doubts, I'm going to have my sense of imposter. It's going to be there. But this seems like a more objective truth. And again, it's a bit of a confrontation between how I feel and the truth.
00:14:31:09 - 00:14:55:23
Itamar Marani
That's option one, having an external person option two is if you don't have that, it's to do it by yourself, but not by asking, How do I feel? What have I accomplished? Because the moment we start thinking about ourselves, we're going to muddy the waters. We're not really going to be writing it objectively. And a really weird and useful little psychological trick is just pretending this is a clue.
00:14:56:00 - 00:15:19:18
Itamar Marani
This is a person X, this is an item or x and this writing a third person brings some emotional separation. What has he done? What are the results? He's achieved for clients? What is the process he has in place? Cool. If someone has all that, what would be a good goal for them to have? That's both audacious and realistic and ethical at the same time?
00:15:19:19 - 00:15:40:02
Itamar Marani
Cool. Now I've clarified that that's what should be their goal. How do I feel about it? Doesn't matter. I'm kind of comfortable about it. Do it anyway, and that's what it should be. And that's where that confrontation, it's not cathartic, it's challenging. I think it's much more comforting to see be in our imposter syndrome. We get comfort. We don't get to challenge ourselves.
00:15:40:02 - 00:16:01:09
Itamar Marani
Sometimes we can even get a sense of pity from ourselves or from others, or like staying small. But we get all these things and it's easier to do that. But the big thing is like it's not comfortable, but this is what, you know, you should be doing. And what I'm trying to say here is also is that this keeps happening at various levels of the game.
00:16:01:11 - 00:16:24:22
Itamar Marani
It keeps going on and there's not going to be some kind of competence gap that once you conquer that gap, imposter syndrome is going to go away forever, no matter how high you keep striving to basically think about, like imposter syndrome, like a simple way. Like, I'll try to give a visual analogy this way. You're usually better than I am that imagine you're at level two of the game.
00:16:25:00 - 00:16:39:19
Itamar Marani
Imposter syndrome will always tell you you're at level one and then when you advanced level three, imposter syndrome would say, Well, you should only play comfortably level two and so on and so on. And those are going to be a bit of a lack of what you should be accomplishing and you gonna want to put yourself down that feels more comfortable.
00:16:39:21 - 00:16:58:10
Itamar Marani
Like as a black belt in jiu jitsu. There's no way I can feel like an imposter if I'm teaching a bunch of white girls, right? No way to be very difficult. But if I teach other black belts, maybe that's a little bit uncomfortable. So my apologies then, because I'm only going to teach a beginners class. Is that in fact the behavior?
00:16:58:12 - 00:17:02:12
Itamar Marani
No. Is it what feels more comfortable? Yes. Are the two different things.
00:17:02:14 - 00:17:43:17
Alex De Fina
Yes, it's fantastic. That's the way that I try to manage my staff with performance audits is getting as granular as possible, trying to communicate it through through math or trying to bring some level of objectivity to what could be a very subjective performance review so we can go line by line and give them hopefully the most accurate, objective audit as to how they're performing, because very rarely is the only internal quantum on the performance.
00:17:43:19 - 00:18:19:00
Alex De Fina
Yeah, accurate to what I've observed as their employer. They are either way too confident not to be the one saying, Hey, there's actually a massive skills gap here. Do you think you're a ten but you're actually sits or I believe I have an obligation to that staff member to because communicate that recalibration or they think that there are six that are actually a ten and the same thing applies you're actually far more competent than you give yourself credit for, and that lack of conviction is going to actually erode your value within this organization.
00:18:19:00 - 00:18:50:08
Alex De Fina
So I don't know what's required, but something is required to recalibrate your actual competence to your confidence. And the more I've been able to manage people very granularly, like that, it's helped avoid very subjective third parties coming in and giving feedback because I might I might make one statement that was poorly worded, which could set them back, you know, pushing the bruise, so to speak, emotionally.
00:18:50:10 - 00:19:03:12
Alex De Fina
So I find it a much better way of managing other people. And I'm trying to do a much better job at self, managing myself through it through a similar process as opposed to subjective, clunky.
00:19:03:14 - 00:19:30:11
Itamar Marani
When someone is feeling when someone has a higher competence than their confidence and we want them to be able to to do what they're actually capable of. Now what they feel they're capable of, First off, it's about figure out what are the actions that someone with these kind of skill sets should be taking. Very clear, like a standard set, clarifying these are the standards and then how you said it's accepting a certain price.
00:19:30:12 - 00:19:47:19
Itamar Marani
There's going to be a discomfort there. We can talk about for we can talk about this or we can say, hey, there's going to be this price. You're going to feel. You're going to feel like an imposter. You okay with that? Now that you logically have separated this and recognize this is the competency level, these are the actions that are wise to take that somebody else I think should take logically.
00:19:47:19 - 00:20:15:15
Itamar Marani
I can see that. And I'm just going to feel these feelings. Are you okay having a feeling and being okay with it? And I think that's the biggest thing to cross this imposter syndrome gap. It's not about saying, okay, I'm going to do a lot of work to become more competent and then I'll feel confident. No more imposter is saying if I want to keep growing and I recognize it's always going to be this lag between what I'm actually capable doing, what I'm comfortable doing.
00:20:15:17 - 00:20:23:17
Itamar Marani
Can I just accept that that comfort, not a level of discomfort in this specific kind of way, which is an imposter way?
00:20:23:18 - 00:20:24:17
Alex De Fina
Yes.
00:20:24:19 - 00:20:47:06
Itamar Marani
I think that's the skill. Like frantic. When I put out the book, I still feel the imposter syndrome when I coach some of these really, really, really big entrepreneurs. I still feel different levels of imposter syndrome. Like their business is much, much bigger than mine or they're older than me or whatever. Maybe these things just exist, and I think it's one of those very freeing things when you recognize maybe this is a non-issue.
00:20:47:08 - 00:21:05:00
Itamar Marani
Now, again, a way to know if it's a non-issue or not is by running it through that litmus test. What does somebody else say I should or shouldn't do that has merit in this department? Like when I asked you, Hey, do you think I should write a book? Or if I don't have availability to that, I can separate it and be like, What would somebody else do here if I were this person?
00:21:05:00 - 00:21:27:01
Itamar Marani
As I say, should I coach these clients on how to build their business and how to build their sales team? No. Could someone like you absolutely help them perform better and understand themselves better how to get the most out of themselves? Absolutely. Cool. That makes sense. You should do that. Does it feel so uncomfortable times? Yes. Tough. Yeah, it just is.
00:21:27:03 - 00:21:29:11
Alex De Fina
Yeah. I don't.
00:21:29:11 - 00:21:30:04
Itamar Marani
Make sense.
00:21:30:06 - 00:22:02:19
Alex De Fina
It does. I've been going through a similar situation recently, so my fitness business and Singapore's capacity, where we're starting the process of launch to franchise and I'm feeling a sense of imposter syndrome putting together the, the, the pitches or the proposals that the documentation, all the stuff is required to sell franchises because I've never sold franchises before. So I'm second guessing myself of I've done 18 different pitch decks and one to a 19th.
00:22:02:21 - 00:22:20:09
Alex De Fina
I'm just constantly looking at what I'm doing with it, with a sense of second guessing myself and doubt. But if I can get out of that mindset and just look at, okay, what am I doing, I'm trying to sell a fitness. Yes.
00:22:20:11 - 00:22:39:20
Itamar Marani
What if instead of just asking, what am I doing? Is what is are you speaking to yourself in the third person just pretending you're kind of rising above the room? You know, you look at yourself with like a spirit of Christmas past or whatever it may be, and just thinking like, what is Alex doing right now? Should he be doing this?
00:22:39:22 - 00:23:01:17
Itamar Marani
It's wild how much clarity just that emotional separation can create and so what am I doing or what should I be doing? You know what? If you just put this together, you should go to the first person. Go to the third person. I'll figure it out along the way, because again, like when you I've seen you give advice, other people, you're extremely sharp, your business acumen is spot on.
00:23:01:19 - 00:23:20:15
Itamar Marani
You really know your stuff. And this goes again, not just for you, but for everyone. As soon as we start thinking about ourselves, our IQ plummets by like 40 points. Yeah, and a way to override that and to simplify a lot of things, to say what should they do? Okay, I comfortable doing that. Yes. Does it matter? Probably not.
00:23:20:17 - 00:23:42:03
Alex De Fina
Exactly. If I was to ask you, do you feel confident driving down to the 7-Eleven, do like I'm pretty sure I can put the key in the ignition, do the thing and get there a million times before I can do it again. When I ask myself that, when it comes to growing fitness businesses, when I'm feeling like an imposter, I bring I bring a lot more complexity into it.
00:23:42:03 - 00:23:59:22
Alex De Fina
The reason why I've done it in different iterations of my pitches and so on is because I'm trying to think of every question someone might ask. I had a front load that was so I'm layering all this complexity and if we separate lack of complexity comes a new degree of doubt. If I just ask myself, what is Alex doing right now?
00:24:00:00 - 00:24:16:23
Alex De Fina
Like he's trying to tell people how to build a very successful fitness business, as he admits before using it like six times and every time has been a unicorn when it comes to this. Yeah, he could have he could be a white belt in all other areas. But in this one, he's a fourth degree black belt and all he's doing is like, follow my system.
00:24:16:23 - 00:24:30:18
Alex De Fina
It works, it produces X, Y, Z. Suddenly all that complexity and doubt just evaporates to a I don't need to have a very sophisticated pitch you could do. The evidence is overwhelming.
00:24:30:20 - 00:24:36:02
Itamar Marani
So let's also assess when you look at Alex doesn't matter if he doesn't have all the questions for him to be answer.
00:24:36:04 - 00:24:37:09
Alex De Fina
Not.
00:24:37:11 - 00:24:47:06
Itamar Marani
Okay. But again, it would feel more comfortable for him to feel safer if everything was already answered. And that's what it. Yeah, just the kind of how you said kills a performance because it slows us down.
00:24:47:08 - 00:24:48:08
Alex De Fina
Mm hmm.
00:24:48:10 - 00:25:10:09
Itamar Marani
I could I go out and get some accolades for myself? I climb Mount Everest, do an open ocean, swim across the Atlantic, whatever. Peter Yeah, that was definitely performer. I could do that. Is it necessary? Absolutely not. What do you make me feel more comfortable emotionally? Maybe. Yes, I'm sure I do it. No, it's not smart, but I think that's is the big thing to recognize.
00:25:10:09 - 00:25:29:21
Itamar Marani
You know what? We just have this stuff. It is part of it. It's part of the game. It just doesn't have to be that way. And I hope the two tools we provided today, both one of us asking an external party or two just to externalize them yourself, either by asking what should your name do? What should I do?
00:25:29:21 - 00:25:45:18
Itamar Marani
What should I do? Or just writing that down on a list, it will reveal the truth. And then, like we said, it's not going to be cathartic. It's actually going to feel like a bit of a confrontation. You're going to feel uncomfortable. It might feel a bit cathartic in the moment. You're like, Oh, okay, I should just do this.
00:25:45:20 - 00:26:02:03
Itamar Marani
But then when you also step into actually doing it, that nagging voice of imposter syndrome, that flavor of discomfort is going to be there, be like, Oh, maybe we didn't figure something out, maybe we didn't think about this. And that's when you got to have a little bit of fight. You got to win that war within yourself and recognize this is just it.
00:26:02:08 - 00:26:17:01
Itamar Marani
It's a voice here. It's not valid. It's not a valid warning sign. It's just emotional noise. I know what Itamar should be doing, so I'm going to do this regardless of how it feels in the present moment.
00:26:17:03 - 00:26:26:05
Alex De Fina
I, I feel more confident just to see this conversation on something which I've been working on for the last couple of weeks. So it's been really, really helpful.
00:26:26:07 - 00:26:45:07
Itamar Marani
Beautiful. All right. So here's the kind of exercise I want to give you guys at home with this resonance as well. Either ask someone externally what you should be doing. If you have someone like that that you know and trust both as far as their intentions and their level of competence and merit in your field, or to just run this exercise by yourself.
00:26:45:09 - 00:27:07:00
Itamar Marani
Now, whatever it is that you find what this person should be doing, this clone of me, what should they be doing? Circle the highest leverage action, then schedule when you actually do it. Preferably if you can actually launch it in the next 24 hours, if you can actually schedule acts. For example, your first pitch within the next week or whatever it may be, but actually schedule it.
00:27:07:02 - 00:27:21:16
Itamar Marani
You're like, this is more than good enough. I know I need to schedule. That would be the thing to do. And then if that hits, please also like share it with me, whether it's in DMS or emails I'd love to hear about. Aside from that, I hope today's podcast was helpful and we'll see you in the next one, guys.
