The One Person You Should Crave Approval From | Elite Performance Podcast #18

Itamar Marani 0:00
There's no way you're going to do something and everyone in the world is going to approve of that, or like that is just not possible. And we really have to get them focused on the fact that you can't seek approval or respect from everyone. You have to really choose who you want respect and approval from. Welcome to today's episode, guys, today, we are going to be wrapping up and summarizing the pastor we accelerator cohort, we just had about 25 entrepreneurs go through it. And I want to share four main things that I've seen come up again, and again, these are really impactful lessons that affected a lot of them. And we want to share them with you guys, because maybe you can even take them on without going through the whole program and really get the big stuff out of it. And hopefully can help you guys as much as possible. So with that said, welcome Emil, thank you for joining me today.

Dr. Emil 0:41
Thank you for having me. And I'm just going to jump in straight away and say yes, you will get benefit you will get lessons as from the emails as from the podcasts. But as a previous arena alumni myself very little can compete with the actual process and accountability and weekly check ins and Itamar so yeah, just to say that, you will get a shitload of benefit from this and surrounding material, but the actual product isn't next level.

Itamar Marani 1:10
Appreciate it. Thank you. Alright, so with that said, though, let's jump to the first big thing. So what I noticed is that a lot of people, every action you take, you hope you're gonna get some kind of reward, that's how we're wired as human beings, is gonna be an action, reward or action, ping everyone away from it. And what I noticed that a lot of the guys, they had issues taking certain actions, because they were afraid they were going to have a certain kind of pain because that pain was not getting approval from people in their network from the people around them. It was basically social issues. That whole fear of abandonment that we talked about. And what was interesting is that people would say these were really got down to their belief structure, they would have these very general things. Like I need people to like me, I need people to respect me, people. So like, everyone, I need everyone to respect me and everyone to like me. And that's just you're setting yourself up for failure. It's just not possible. People have such different perspectives, different opinions, such different desires, that it was the main cause that I saw that all of them were procrastinating, not being able to take the actions they wanted to, is because they were putting themselves in a lose lose position. There's no way you're going to do something and everyone in the world is going to approve of that, or like that, it's just not possible. And we really have to get them focused on the fact that you can't seek approval or respect from everyone. You have to really choose who you want respect and approval from me thank you want to jump in?

Dr. Emil 2:41
I have a take on it. And I'm intrigued. So that's, to me sounds like yes, wanting this abstract approval. And that is the converse of avoiding this abstract abandonments from the right, this nebulous day. And my theory is and correct me if I'm wrong, that actually what is happening is it's this this obstacle is protecting you from challenging the ego and risking failure, risking hurting it. And therefore you put up this obstacle, which is not truly real sorry, gone, Tommy.

Itamar Marani 3:16
I'm not sure that's true. Man. I think we're tribal creatures. And we do want, we want some kind of let's call it. How do I say this? How do you call those towers of the ocean that guides a ship? Lighthouse? A lighthouse? Yes, we want a lighthouse, that other, we're heading in the right direction. And a lot of times that lighthouse for us is other people's opinions. And that's when it can get very challenging, because other people have various opinions about various things. And especially if you're trying to get approval from everyone in the world, every one to respect you.

Dr. Emil 3:51
That's the subtle difference. Because like, clearly in a tribe, there's a hierarchy and you say, Okay, well, these certain people, they need to respect me for my survival. Sure. But if that then becomes a nebulous thing, that is a opportunity to avoid taking a chance to avoid taking action to avoid the risk of failure. So I just wonder if that's a protection, self protection mechanism?

Itamar Marani 4:15
Yes, so I think yes, because again, you're afraid to be ostracized by the tribe. Because if back in the day and disadvantage, you're ostracized by the tribe, you're alone disadvantage, you're probably going to die. Now, the problem with that is we haven't caught up to the fact that, first off, we don't live in small tribes anymore. And even if a tribe ostracizes us and says you're bad, nothing's going to happen to us. Yeah, that's the first thing. But how you're saying there's a hierarchy. This was a really interesting thing. So what I would say to a lot of these guys that they have this belief structure that I want people to respect me or I need people to like me, or I won't do this because people will think this or that. Ask them who do you really want respect from? You have to be very intentional about this and say, Who do actually care about whose opinion do I care? And for a lot of them, that was a really interesting moment, though, who there's something to think about right here, because I've never actually pinpointed. Who do I want respect from? Whose opinion do I care about, and whose opinion Do I not care about. And the most interesting part about the thing that the thread I saw that stuck through the most of them and stuck throughout the program, is that they decided that the person they really want respect from the kind of measuring stick their lighthouse is their future self. So they can say, if I'm taking an action, right now, regardless of how it feels, but that my future self will say, man, good job for doing that. I'm proud of you for doing that. Then they know they're doing the right thing. And it might sound very abstract, but it's amazing how helpful it is, in the moment. When you're just in the moment and only ask yourself, you know what, I have two things two ways I can go with this decision. Which one would my future self look back on and say, Man, I'm proud of you for doing that. And seeking approval from your future self when it comes to either decision in your business. Or even for some guys, it was drinking more alcohol or less alcohol, or getting in better shape, just making those small decisions? To give, you can just say, what decision will my future self be proud of and use your future self as that measuring stick as that lighthouse? For a lot of these guys, it just created a giant shift just like that.

Dr. Emil 6:21
I like it. I like it a lot. And the two I use similarly is what will my future self regret? Which is made, I think similar but a different frame? Yeah.

Itamar Marani 6:35
Yeah. So that's number one. So if you feel sometimes this pressure, because you don't know if the action will take people respected, approve of it. Ask yourself, Am I clear on who actually want respect and approval from? And what I've seen work for a lot of people just say it's my future self. I want to make decisions that I'll be proud of in hindsight. And that's a simple question. I asked myself about that as well. Is this a decision that we'll be proud of? In hindsight? Yes, yes. No, no. Even though might be tough in the moment. Any questions on that lesson? Before we wrap that one

Dr. Emil 7:08
up? No, that's nice. Real nice.

Itamar Marani 7:11
Awesome. Cool. So another part that I noticed is that a lot of the guys had a bit of confidence issues around various things, because they weren't able to succeed doing this or succeed in the first couple years in their business, or whatever it may be. And it was very interesting, because at first I was a little bit confused, was really a theme here. And during one of the Q and A's, I kind of broke up in this little bit of a tangent, I was like, Guys, life isn't supposed to be easy. What you're trying to accomplish to build a seven or eight figure business while keeping maintaining your health, while having great family life or personal relationships, if you don't have kids, yet, whatever it may be. It's not easy. And the fact that you maybe haven't nailed it in the first go around doesn't mean that you're not competent. It just means that you haven't figured this out yet. But it shouldn't hurt your confidence and recognize you're on your way still. And it was very interesting, because what I noticed that a lot of them had these pre programmed beliefs that if I'm not able to succeed at something that means I'm not good. But the reality is, if you're trying something really, really hard, you're not supposed to succeed as far as it's not how it works. Like when you go surfing, nobody catches your first big wave. It's not how it works. And it was such an interesting realization for a lot of them. As soon as I told them, guys, maybe it's not that you're inherently bad. It's just that you're trying to do something very difficult. And that's why it didn't work out at first, or a lot of them. I could see as soon as they heard that it relieves so much pressure. Yeah, go ahead.

Dr. Emil 8:41
Yeah. So I mean, I know you're not a huge one for social media. But that is what social media creates, it creates it within health with with six packs and an image, it creates it with entrepreneurship. And to be honest, whenever you talk to people, whether it's across social media or even friends, people don't tell you the shit. They don't tell you the hardship. They just tell you the fluffed up numbers. I hit 50k last month. Oh, yeah. But it none of it was profit, right? You made a loss, you know, one month or 24 and every other month you made five okay, so we get fed this image spoon fed, like hosepipe fed this image of ease effortlessness, it should be you should be following your passion. You should be working three hours a day. You should also be in shape at the same time and be a loving father, brother, whatever the fuck. It's hard. Yeah, I can see this for sure.

Itamar Marani 9:37
Yeah, it's a great point. Because like I said, I'm not on social media a lot. Let's put it that way. But yeah, it was very interesting, because everybody had a lot everybody. A lot of these guys have this perception that it's supposed to be easy. And if it's not easy for them, then maybe they're not good enough or maybe they're not capable. And that in of itself was creating this giant burden and progress. The nation because they have a shooting their confidence. And basically, your level of your confidence is usually your action threshold. If you're not confident yourself, you won't take a lot of action. If you are confident, you'll give yourself permission to take more action because you believe in yourself. And that means you can create and that kind of work reality of thinking, well, if it's not coming easy to me, then that means I shouldn't be confident myself, I'm not good enough, is what stopped them from taking a lot of actions that really impacted positively their life and their business. So I think that's a big, big lesson. Life isn't supposed to be easy. If you're trying to achieve something that's really difficult. That's really rare, building up a giant business, while maintaining your health while maintaining relationships, family life, whatever it may be. So when you have hiccups, again, don't take that as a sign that you're not competent. Just recognize this is part of the process. And beyond that, I think it's really powerful to anticipate the stumbles. So that when you do have a slip up, you do have a blowout, whatever it may be, you don't immediately think, Oh, why am I doing this? I knew I wasn't good enough for this. I knew this is over my head. But just so you know, okay, on the way to eight figures, nine figures, whatever it may be, this conversation of the relationship is really hard. I know there's going to be stumbles. And that's just a part of the game. So when I see that, I'm not going to take it as a sign that I'm doing something wrong. I'm just gonna go okay, I see you here. This is an emotion I expected, this is something I expected. It's part of it. Having me the same, we all have blocks at time. We all have frustrations, we all mess up. And what I found really helpful for myself is to kind of expect and accept that these things are going to happen. Because then when they do arise, it's like, okay, this is supposed to be here. It's like, Why did I just get wiped out of the wave? Because I'm a beginner surfer. That's what it's supposed to be in general, how to surf. And the more things you can adopt that mentality in life, the more free you are just exploring, go for things and not feel like if you're not doing things perfectly, it's a sign of stop.

Dr. Emil 11:54
Yeah, a really nice way of looking at it is the eternal student, the white belt mindset. Yep. Like, if you assume you're always learning, and it's always going to be new and interesting and exciting. Amazing. You've instantly framed it in such a way that Oh, I stumbled. Yeah, of course, I'm a student and learning what lessons can I find here? What a mindset to go through life? Yeah,

Itamar Marani 12:19
and for me, like, so I'm a black belt in jujitsu, and adopting that white belt mentality, I think in jujitsu taught me how to do this in life. So my big benefit was that I moved to Brazil, just when I was at the end of my white belt, I got promoted Brazil, a couple weeks after I got there, blue belt. But the gap between me and most of the guys in the gym when I just got there was so immense, because there were a lot of guys that were brown and black belt world champions that I had, there wasn't a place for my ego, I had to adopt the white band mentality because I was getting merch I was getting smashed all day long. And it enabled me this that gap and just not being able to have my ego there. Because it was so the gap was so ridiculous. It really allowed me to look at this as Okay, I have a privilege of rolling with these high level black belts. And every day, they're going to keep exposing flaws in my technique, they're not going to show me that I'm not good enough. They're going to help me expose flaws in my technique. And because you're adopted that kind of mindset, I never got disappointed, or I never got demotivated, I was like, This is great. I'm getting to improve my technique so much. And if you adopt that white belt mentality, like Emil was saying and say, Okay, I want to learn how to build a big business, I want to learn how to become a better version of myself. Every time an issue arises, just exposes something you can improve on. And it just framing it in that kind of way. It really helps.

Dr. Emil 13:39
That there's another aspect is humility, and getting the ego out of the way. So yes, we're fed all this stuff, which makes us think we should be better than we are. But also, we have this assumption potentially that we're better than we are. And then when that doesn't happen, we get upset. So an example I've been in the fitness space for 20 years, I have forgotten more than most people know, yet. I still have a trainer. And when I work with these trainers, I always learned something new. But if I went in with an arrogance of you know, shut up, let me school you. I would block that out. So I'm constantly asking questions, constantly learning.

Itamar Marani 14:18
Yeah, I think it's great. Cool, right, that that point, life isn't supposed to be easy, and it doesn't mean you're not good. Just some things are hard.

Dr. Emil 14:27
Keep learning forever.

Itamar Marani 14:29
Yep. All right. Now number three, you have to learn to be okay with having a feeling. Here's what I mean by that. A lot of the things we do in the program are to help you kind of understand cognitively and break down certain fears. So things aren't as scary. But the reality is at the end of everything, if you're in your growth zone, it literally means you're not in your comfort zone and there's gonna be some uncomfortable emotions there. For example, a fear of judgment Fear of failure, whatever it may be. And if you can get comfortable with knowing, okay, I'm going to meet this emotion there. And it's not a sign that I need to run to the other direction, it's not an indicator that something's wrong, it becomes really, really powerful.

Dr. Emil 15:18
I love this one. Yeah.

Itamar Marani 15:21
So go ahead,

Dr. Emil 15:22
I've got I've got, I think two things there. So let's one, you can use that feeling of discomforts, anxiety, whatever it is, as a measure of the edge, if you're not feeling anything, you're probably well in your comfort zone. So as you start to feel it, you're like, oh, okay, this is this is good, this is right, too much is not good. But finding that sweet spot, you want to stay there. And then the better you can get at sitting with these emotions, and getting comfortable with these emotions, means you're increasing your capacity to lean into more discomfort, because what used to be a sweet spot, you're now you're fine with you can you can adapt to you can perceive it in such a way. So you can then push harder and do more. But that is that also fluctuates. Gone.

Itamar Marani 16:08
Basically, what Emile is saying is that, by pushing the envelope of your growth zone and living there, you actually expand your grows on itself. Yes, and that's the beautiful thing. Like why a lot of people say, Oh, how is he able to push himself constantly or this about various people, because their growth zone is constantly been pushed, it's like training a muscle, you train your biceps, they're gonna get bigger your train your growth zone, it's gonna get bigger. It's just what it is, it's time under tension inside the growth zone. So go ahead.

Dr. Emil 16:39
And just like muscles, this fluctuates, so if something that you can cope with, usually, you suddenly can't, that's fine, that's the trend will be upwards, but there will be daily ups and downs, and sometimes you will overreach, and you will need to then back off, to be able to then keep going up. And that's part of the journey, they're gonna kind

Itamar Marani 17:01
of want to go back to have this form. So in the program, we go a lot of people's belief structures, and we try to minimize the amount of fear or discomfort they have around things, a lot of times, we make things out to be more scary in our heads than they actually are, we have a distorted view of reality, think, Oh, if I do this, and I mess it up, then everyone's going to hate me, I'm going to lose the business, and so on and so on. And what we try to do in law levels, is to kind of help them understand that the level of the magnitude of potential harm you think is actually going to come to you is not true. It's just your subconscious lashing out and going to these extremes. Now, what's important to recognize that a lot of these guys were able to get, let's say, the the fear on taking an action that really take their business or their personal life to the next level, down from, let's say, a nine to a two. But what was really important for them to recognize that I wasn't aware that I felt like I was missing something, because some of them were still hesitant, was to recognize that that to it, it might still exist there. And that's perfectly fine. Again, you having a certain level of discomfort, it doesn't mean that something's wrong, doing something instead of having a feeling of oh, what if I fail? What if people judge me? What will people think? Why will this happen? It's not an indicator to run the other way. It's not a sign that you're doing the wrong thing. It's just a part of the process of really moving, exploring and growing. And for a lot of them, it was such an interesting shift. And I was like, Guys, it's okay, if you still have a feeling. And again, like we said earlier, if you can anticipate that feeling, then it's even more powerful. Oh, I'm about to do this, okay. Logically, I figured out that this isn't actually as as severe as it can be, even if I mess it up. But I also know that while I'm going through it, I'm still going to feel that discomfort, I'm still going to be with that emotion. And if I can learn to sit with it, and accept it and not try to run away from it. As soon as a pinch of it comes on. That's when it can become a really powerful, you can take a lot of actions really fast.

Dr. Emil 18:53
Yeah, that quote, right? Courage is not lack of fear, but taking action, regardless of it.

Itamar Marani 18:59
Yeah. And it's like, it's, it's the whole paradox. Everybody wants to be courageous, but nobody wants to feel fear. Yeah. You can't, you can't have one without the other. And to recognize that. Cool. So is that part clear that you have to learn to be okay with having a feeling and not running away from it? It's not a bad sign. Cool. Next thing, and this is interesting, because it kind of went with, with the program as we went along. Letting go of the chip on your shoulder is really, really hard. And a lot of us are terrified to let go of that chip. Because we think this is the thing that's driving us and it's allowed us to have the success we've had until now. And besides that, if it creates more pressure on me beautiful, because the more pressure more times. But the reality is that it's not true. There comes beyond the point of diminishing return there comes a point where it becomes negative. We've talked about this in the podcast several times about Got that performance pressure bell curve. And I explained it to the guys here as well like, first off, if you have a chip on your shoulder before all this might end up driving you the wrong direction, might doing a lot of things to prove certain people wrong, but not actually do what you want. Because you got to prove them, that's a chip on your shoulder. Or you might want to prove something to yourself. And again, it'll drive you into the incorrect action instead of really thinking about things properly being strategic and being a bit more patient. But beyond that, it can create undue pressure. And the performance pressure bell curve. Again, if you've never seen any of the podcasts, you've never heard us talk about it. Imagine on the vertical, there's performance. And on the side part of that bell curve, there's pressure, there's a certain point where a certain amount of pressure, he makes your performance go up. This is things that you're really excited about, you're really passionate about when you think, oh, man, I really want to do this, this would be really cool. This sounds like an amazing opportunity. When you do things from that kind of motive, performance goes up. But when it starts tipping over, and you feel this kind of pressure, like if I don't do this, then what does that mean about me? If I can't make this happen, Am I really that good. Or if I can't take this also into business and do this and grow that? Am I that person who failed back then am I that same person. And when we attach all these deeper meanings to certain things, and there's a lot of insecurity there, a lot of guilt, a lot of shame, sometimes, that's when performance starts to dip. And what I've noticed a lot of time is that people keeping this chip on their shoulder, it actually takes them to that other part of the performance bell curve. Because it doesn't allow them to really step take a step back and think logically and strategically about things. It raises compulsion to do just Do do do without even knowing if it's the right thing to do.

Dr. Emil 21:49
This also looks at the motivation side of the equation, the motivation, internal block side of the equation. So the chip of your chip on your shoulder, pushes the motivation up jacks, the motivation up. And often this will get you through the first stages of entrepreneurship. And then as you advance, you continue trying to harness that you're terrified if you lose that you will no longer be successful. And this is at the point where you want to be getting rid of internal blocks putting down the handbrake rather than jamming on the accelerator.

Itamar Marani 22:22
Yeah. And this I think is this is for me on my personal journey. This was the hardest thing to let go of certain beliefs, for example, about the whole kind of issue that I had that Oh, not everyone's out to get me that was okay, that was very difficult, but I made it through it. But when I realized that, I actually can let go, I should let go of the chip on my shoulder. And not constantly telling myself if I don't keep pushing as hard as humanly possible, I'm going to fail and suffer. It was terrifying. Because I was like, You know what, since that fair, that lapse I had since then, I've kept this kind of mindset, this chip on my shoulder that I have to grind harder than anybody out to be ultra discipline that never came into anything. And I had some success in life. So I was like, Okay, this is why, because I thought default Itamar he's soft, and he will quit sometimes. But Itamar with his chip on his shoulder this way is achieved success. And it was it required honestly a big leap of faith. And it was one of the hardest things, it's probably the hardest thing again, I've done in this process for me to say you know what, I'm gonna go this chip on my shoulder. And the reality was that once I did that, things really started to go up. Like at first it was a little bit of a lull for like a month, I was a bit confused on what to do, because I was doing all these actions before that were just because of the chip on my shoulder not because of what I really wanted to do. But as soon as the dust settled, things really started to go up. And annoyance for the guys in the program as well, I could see that a couple of days, they were a bit in a haze. But honestly, after that, even after a week, some of them already shooting up, they had so much more clarity on what they actually wanted, and what they actually should be doing. Once they removed that. And they didn't feel a compulsion to act out of that insecurity. Because ultimately your shoulder really means the evidence security. Once that IT security wasn't driving them anymore. They're able to see things a lot more clearly.

Dr. Emil 24:14
Yeah, I wanted to widen that definition of chip on your shoulder to insecurity to false belief to source of dark energy, because for me, I didn't I don't relate to a chip on my shoulder, per se. And maybe that's ignorance. I don't know. But I definitely had that I need to work hard as hell for to succeed. I mean, we spoke about this multiple times in the last arena. And only when I got rid of that belief, can I actually start to be content and achieve happiness and other things beyond my dreams? Can you just check out my shoulder? Yeah, please wait time.

Itamar Marani 24:49
So we've talked about it and I'm only for context. Also, I'm only going to say this in a public perspective, because I know we've talked about this before in public as well on the podcast, so Your chip on your shoulder was that you wanted to prove your father wrong, that you made the right decision about leaving medicine and succeeding and entrepreneurship. And that was insecurity that drove you to do so much to go, go, go, go go. It wasn't that you were really playing your own game and saying I really want to build this giant business. That it up. It was that but the bigger part of it from what I saw from the side was that you have this chip on your shoulder that insecurity that I have to prove him wrong. Does that? Yeah, I

Dr. Emil 25:27
would agree. Yeah, I would agree. We I think we've done a whole episode on this. We're going to do on Yeah.

Itamar Marani 25:34
Yeah, but yeah. So I think that's really the simplest way I would define a chip on your shoulder, just send it security striping. Yeah. And again, it might have a powerful driving force, but it could very well be driving you in the wrong direction. And more often than not, it drives you in the wrong direction. So it's something that's very tough to shed, it requires a lot of courage, and you taking a leap of faith. But from what I've seen, it is always worth it. Always, always worth it 99.9% of the time, it takes people and also a much better external upward trajectory, and illiteracy, only one case, where it's caused somebody to say you know what, actually, I don't want to achieve as much as I thought I wanted to achieve. One case, but all the other cases, it's a lot of people to achieve a lot more and in a much more enjoyable way. Because you're not just pulled by this insecurity that's driving and are living with that, with that kind of mindset all the time, like I need to prove something wrong. more from a place of happiness, or whatever you want to call it, or just excitement, enjoyment about life.

Dr. Emil 26:31
And that's worth highlighting. So yes, in most most cases, there's an external improvement, increase abundance, money, whatever that is business growth. But the other part of that which is very important, is this feeling of contentment, enjoyment, coming from a place of flow, place of alignments, whatever you want to call it.

Itamar Marani 26:53
I'll say why is it that way, set in that order, I wasn't ready to be sold. And just internal process. When I did this, I was like, No, I want to achieve my external results, I want to achieve these things. And for me, if you would have said, Listen, you can have more peace and more happiness, but you're gonna have to sacrifice these results. I'd be like, No, I'm not ready to hear that. But the reality is, and this is the beautiful reality of you actually get better external results. Again, except for that one case, that black swans so to speak. And that was also he was very, very young. And he had a lot of bad ideas in his head, let's put it that way. But except for that one, Black Swan, everybody's achieved more because of that. And you also get the internal benefits. That's why I want to make that a point, you do get more because of that. Externally, all the achievements, whatever it may be results, you get more, because again, you don't have all this energy trying to think about how do I compensate for this insecurity? Instead, you have all your energy to think, what do I really want to accomplish? And I'll be the best way to do that. The smartest, most elegant way to do that just creates better results.

Dr. Emil 28:02
Yeah, yeah, it's not motivation, internal resistance equation, again, you're removing the internal resistance, and the motivation will go, you don't need to jack it up with insecurities and fear and whatever else.

Itamar Marani 28:16
Yeah, you're not you're gonna have a lot to fight against, you don't need that much more motivation. cope. So those are honestly the main lessons I wanted to share. These are themes that I thought across the individuals that went through the arena right now, all of them also not gonna say it, but they have a lot of them and a lot of really, really amazing results in their businesses, and in their personal lives. And these were kind of themes that I saw across it. So one, you can't want to prove one respect from everybody. You have to decide who you want that from. And a really simple hack, if you will, is to crave approval from your future self. When you're in a tough spot, and you ask yourself, should I go this way or that way? If you simply ask, What will my future self be proud of that? I did? You'll probably know the answer. That's number one. Number two, life isn't supposed to be easy, especially if you're trying to accomplish really, really big things. So just because you have a stumble or you weren't able to do things on the first, second or third, go around, you shouldn't take that as a sign that you're not good. You're not capable. You're not competent. Some things are just hard. And I think the sooner you can accept that, the less meaning you take onto Why aren't you succeeding? Well, the reason you're not succeeding yet, is because this is hard. And it's a process. Tommy was saying about the weight room mentality. It took me I think, eight years to get a black belt. It takes time. That's just how it is. That's lesson two. Lesson number three is learn to be okay with feeling a feeling. And don't be scared when you meet it. You having a certain emotion doesn't necessarily mean it's an indicator that you're on the wrong path. It's just a part of the process at times when you're really challenging the upper limits of your growth zone, and you're really going for a big thing. means there will be certain emotions there, there'll be fear, there'll be this comfort. And you just got to accept the fact that they're going to be there. And again, don't use them as an indicator that oh, if this is here, I need to run the other way. And the more you can be comfortable with these things, and just be able to sit with these emotions and not fear them and not run away from them, the more powerful you become, because again, you just take action after action after action, next action doesn't destroy you. And finally, the last thing is that letting go and the chip on your shoulder is really, really hard. But it's extremely powerful. Because that chip on your shoulder, it's just an insecurity. And it drives you towards the negative side of the performance pressure bell curve. And it just attracts what you're actually capable of doing. And it's extremely tough to give it up. It requires a lot of courage. But again, 99.9% of the time, equates both amazing external results, and a much more enjoyable internal process. And those were the main lessons, the four main lessons I wanted to share that I took away from this last cohort of the Rena mindset. Sorry. And I think you want to add him, you

Dr. Emil 31:05
know, there's a great

Itamar Marani 31:08
awesome, right. So aside from that, we will see everybody on the next episode. Take care guys.

Dr. Emil 31:15
See you next week, guys.