Attacking the Core Issue | Elite Performance Podcast #11

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Are the limits of your language putting a ceiling on your success?

In this episode Itamar and Dr. Emil explain how to avoid wasting time on solving the wrong mindset problems. 

Listen in to understand the one key thing entrepreneurs need to expand to increase their effectiveness and why labels like “imposter syndrome” are sometimes just unhelpful labels that don’t get results.



Also covered in this episode is the paradox of personal improvement vs. business development and how to leverage one for the other.

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Click Here to Read Transcript (machine made)

Itamar Marani 0:00
Welcome to today's episode, guys. Today we're gonna be talking about uncovering the core issue and really getting to what actually matters. So I'm here with my co-host, Dr. Emil, Dr. Emil, please say hi to people. Okay, so here's the deal. A lot of times entrepreneurs, they have this wealth of knowledge when it comes to their business and the language around it and really understanding what's truly going on. And not just saying something very vague, like, oh, we just have a problem, because the business isn't making a lot of money. But really understanding, okay, we have a problem with sales. And actually, we have our back end sales that's issue exactly the recurring back end sales. And because we're able to understand things to that kind of precision, they're able to resolve things in an optimal manner. And when it comes to let's call it emotional, or mental blocks, that vernacular is really lacking. And because it's lacking, they can't actually get to the root cause of what's actually going on, they can uncover it, and they can solve it. And that's how we're going to be talking about today.

Dr. Emil 0:56
Yeah, yeah. And it's super interesting that entrepreneurs can identify that in business, second nature, but really, really struggle when it comes to themselves, which actually is not that uncommon. Eric said,

Itamar Marani 1:07
it's what they're, they're incentivized to do, because business, they get very tangible results like money, the more you can see tangible numbers. So you can see this reward mechanism of like, when I learned more about this, and my vernacular expands there, and my precision expands there, I get a reward, it's very clear for me to see that with the internal stuff, it's a lot less tangible. And because of that most people aren't driven to actually dive into it, even though it creates the same amount of impact with a license.

Dr. Emil 1:35
I mean, it's also the people don't put as much time into the personal versus business like business, as you say, highly validated, highly measurable, they spend 90% of their day thinking about it, examining it, learning about it, learning that vernacular. And then when you say what are you doing for your own, for yourself, for your personal development for your headspace, whatever you want to call it. They're like, Oh, I get therapy once a week, which is awesome, by the way, but compared to how much you're putting into business is very, very small.

Itamar Marani 2:07
Yeah, and I'll say this, you don't leave yourself outside of the business. I got asked other day, I was doing a presentation for a company, they asked me. So somebody asked me, How can I succeed in the business without having to address this personal stuff as well? I was like, Well, you can't, that's not a thing is like, yeah, that you leave your human part at home. And then when you go to the office, you become this machine. And also a big thing there to recognize, even when it comes to the business. If you don't understand yourself as a person, certain insecurities, certain triggers will get pushed and prodded. And you'll end up taking it on the business and it will suffer as well as a consequence.

Dr. Emil 2:44
Yeah, and then that works both ways. If you improve yourself, the business will improve. Yep, for sure. It's difficult to measure difficult to assign, assign how it happens, causation. But it you know, from people higher up who I've spoken to, it's very, very direct. The more you work on yourself, the more your business improves.

Itamar Marani 3:04
I mean, I see it all the time. You just can't argue the results. You see him in black and white. Yeah. Alright, so here's kind of how we want to get started this. The reason we wanted to do this podcast is because Emil and I are both a part of a certain community. And in that community, one person wrote a post. And he said that he's suffering from impostor syndrome. And he's not able to put himself out there put all this content out there that he thinks he's like, he's like, I know, my content is really good. But I'm afraid to put it out there. And a bunch of people were commenting, oh, you should do this. Just give it a try. And all this kind of thing. I think Emil, you or somebody else tagged me in it. And I was like, you don't have impostor syndrome. That's the reality, you have a fear of rejection. Like you actually impostor syndrome, when somebody isn't confident in themselves, they think they're not worthy. They're not good enough. And then they don't deserve to put things out there. And that person did not have that. He was saying very clearly, I think I'm great people telling me I'm great. I'm confident, I'm great. But I just don't want to put myself out there. And what it clearly was that he was afraid of being judged. And when I put that out there to him, and I asked him, Who are you afraid is going to judge you? The potential clients that see this and think your work is in good? Or people that already know you and us like, it's people that already know? We said, Okay, so here's the reality, that you don't have impostor syndrome. We're just afraid that the people that already know you that are taught from an evolutionary perspective, are your tribe, the people that could possibly outcast, you cause you to feel abandoned? And all that kind of jazz. Those are the people you're concerned with think Who are you to say stuff like this? And they might reject. And once you kind of figure that out for him, and the lack of all the stuff, and he was able to really move forward with a lot of his things. And it was a very valuable lesson that if you don't really understand what's going on, you're not going to solve it. Because I saw that a lot of the other advice that he was receiving, which was very well intended, it just wasn't going to create an actual impact for him.

Dr. Emil 4:58
And this is a great point too. You tap in that quote, which you mentioned before the podcast,

Itamar Marani 5:06
which means the limits of my world are basically, the depths of your understanding, your understanding will determine the depth of your success. Because like in business, if you can say like the back end of the sales, the recurring part of it, that's the depth of it, you can actually solve that problem. If you just say, we're not making enough money, you're like, a headless chicken just running around not understanding what's going on. And that's really the point of it.

Dr. Emil 5:32
Yeah, that's really, really powerful. And are there? Because that's one example of this. What are some other some other examples?

Itamar Marani 5:46
So when people just say I have a mental block, or people just say, I have this, this limiting belief,

Dr. Emil 5:56
have to jump in there. Go for it. We as humans, we as entrepreneurs, love catchphrases, like limiting beliefs, like mental blocks, like impostor syndrome, right? And it's very easy to not fully understand perhaps what these mean, and then gravitate towards them and then label yourself with these things. It's also I mean, this is a whole the next topic perhaps. So this is also a shield against perhaps going deeper.

Itamar Marani 6:24
It's, it's both so I know what you're getting at. And we will go into this. But honestly, I think, on the surface level, it's just it's twofold. For some people, it is just laziness, that it's the first thing they heard that, oh, this is what I must have. I must have impostor syndrome, if I'm not putting content out. And it's not coming from a true desire to actually explore what's going on. For some people, it is just laziness. And for some people, it's just a lack of vernacular, it's like, it's very interesting when I talk to people a lot of times when they want to join the program, and ask them what's going on. And they don't even understand what's going on with them. Just because like you can tell their vernacular is so so limited in the let's call it emotional or mental realm. They have a ton of business understanding, but as far as their own personal standing, what's going on inside them inside their box or head? It's just so limited, that it's no wonder why they can't move past. They don't even know what they're trying to move past.

Dr. Emil 7:18
So let's stick with that one, before we move on to the scariest part, the fear part. How do you upgrade that vernacular?

Itamar Marani 7:28
First off, it's a second part of humility is accepting that you don't know what you don't know. And not just staying at that first. Oh, I heard impostor syndrome is a thing. So I must have impostor syndrome. But really trying to challenge that and having that humble curiosity and saying what's actually going on here. And I mean, there's tons of literature's podcasts that you can read, and so on, and so on. We were listened to, and so on, and so on. But it's really just the first thing the first step is like, unless you have the humility to say, I'm going to try to dive in deeper. And instead of asking, for example, that guy instead of asking I have impostor syndrome, what should I do? You should have said, Something's going on that I can't take action. Can somebody help me understand what's going on? That'd be a much, much better question. And he both didn't probably ask himself that. And he definitely didn't ask others that. And I think that's really the simplest thing. Like, if you have an issue like that, you can ask other people, especially people that are, let's say, more, more practice than you in this kind of, in this kind of stuff, the mindset, the emotional fortitude, and all that jazz is asking, this is what's going on. This is a constraint this, what's going on this what I'm trying to get to? Why is this happening? Why am I not able to bridge that gap?

Dr. Emil 8:34
I mean, that in itself is a hugely practical point, like because he asked, How do I fix impostor syndrome? People told him how to fix impostor syndrome. Instead of asking that this is my problem. How can I approach this? So people were already funnel, these people might have had the answers, but they couldn't give them because they weren't pushed in that direction.

Itamar Marani 8:55
Yeah, but it's also like, you know, it's one of the I remember, learning this back in the day, like one of the primary rules of leadership is not accepting the problem. Like when somebody comes to you with a problem. It's not just accepting, okay, this is the problem and solving, but really understanding what is truly the problem here. And then it's also the mark of a good coach, like if you're listening, and you've anybody who's listening, and they ever come to a coach say, This is my problem is the current that solve it. That's probably not a great coach, because he's not really thinking on a high level saying, Okay, let's really get down to the core issue here and really uncover that. And I think it's something to be really be cognizant of like, I don't know if you notice, but whenever I post, I try to always say, This is my problem. This is what I think is going on. But I'm happy to be challenged on please challenge me at first. And I think working on that kind of base levels creates better results.

Dr. Emil 9:39
Yeah, agreed. And that's actually really interesting. It made me think immediately of another example, in health route, for example, where people think that their problem is that they are doing something superficial with their food that's causing the problem, but it's much deeper than that. It's down to the stress in their lives. It's down to the way that they're constructed. It's down to previous narratives around thing food. It's so different from just, oh, eat this many calories and you'll be fine. Like, yeah.

Itamar Marani 10:07
Yeah. Cool. So does that answer your question though? That'd be the framework just first, like, instead of just saying, I have impostor syndrome, or I have this, don't jump to that conclusion, but we think, Okay, this is why I'm trying to get to this where I currently am. Why am I able to bridge that gap? And go from that kind of place? And start asking that question to both yourself and to other people?

Dr. Emil 10:26
Yeah, I think so. And I think, just to add on to that, as well is, you know, you say, ask other people ask the right question to other people, be believable people. Ask believable people,

Itamar Marani 10:37
this is really important. Like Donna, I always say, Merit over proximity. Do not ask people that just happen to be around you. Ask people who have merit, like if your stepsister has a lot of her own issues. And she's against personal development, don't be asking her this kind of stuff. And this is obviously an example that somebody had, that used to be part of their arenas. And it's like, Merit over proximity. It's such an important thing. It's like no first aid upfront, no first day of school frets, as they say, just because you know, somebody just because they're around you does not mean they have the merit to really be helping you. So make the effort to really say, Is this the person with the correct merit to be helping me with this problem?

Dr. Emil 11:17
Yeah, yeah. And, you know, talking of the original question, which was how do you upgrade that? vernacular? Ask believable people, ask the right questions, have humility, and also just putting more time into this kind of thing, whether it's books, whether it's podcasts, so every 17 books, you read about business, maybe read one about, you know, the mental, the headspace, whatever it is,

Itamar Marani 11:42
this is the thing, maybe don't even differentiate the fact that there's books for business and books for this saying, though, you know, I mean, that's the real juice. And that's what you're saying about it. You never with I know, with a lot of very, very high level people like guys that are even nine figure guys. And they all talk about this, like it's one in the same. And that I don't like, it's frustrating to me, sometimes when people refer to mindset as a soft skill, because like it creates is hard, tangible results is possible, when applied correctly. And it's like, it's just, it's one of the same. And I wish more people would recognize that, because they just think it will give them such better results, and also just just make everything much more enjoyable. And they get past their own stuff. And they will be able to see that.

Dr. Emil 12:22
Yeah, I mean, I can rant about this forever. But ultimately, we are validated for, for money, and, you know, for making more money. And that's very obvious and straightforward. And especially when people start out, there are some very easy things that people can do, which will make a lot more money. Like what gets you to the first argument was this hierarchy. Yeah, exactly. But won't necessarily get you to the next level. So yeah, at some point, you have to transition evolve from business tactics, which works initially to self improvement, development growth. Yeah.

Itamar Marani 12:59
Cool. All right. So We answered that question. Right.

Dr. Emil 13:02
So that was the first half of the of the question. And then the second half was first, if you don't know the, the words, if you don't know, if you don't understand where can you find it? Find them? And then the second part was, is that down to how much of that is down to fear?

Itamar Marani 13:21
I think a lot like it, I think it's a lot. It's, it's almost kind of cool these days to say, Oh, I have impostor syndrome. It's this kind of thing, like, Oh, I'm being vulnerable kind of thing. And it's kind of applauded in a way to really

Dr. Emil 13:36
hear it exactly.

Itamar Marani 13:37
I love that term. I never heard that. But I love that term. And it's, it doesn't feel icky to say, so I can say it. And then I can look as if I'm being vulnerable, and and being evolved, and so on and so on. What is very uncomfortable to say, especially in a public forum, is to say, I have a fear that if I do this, my father is going to think less of me, and he won't love me as much anymore, possibly be rejected. Like me, but just saying that without me having any issues. I that like it made me feel uncomfortable right now. And there's a fear of really going deeper because it just doesn't feel nice. And nobody really wants to talk about this stuff. It's like it's okay to like, you know, be publicly vulnerable, the hex editor performing in a performing matter, but really going to the depth of what's going on. It doesn't feel nice. But the reality is, you can't get to the bottom of things. You're hiding from the truth. Just because the truth feels uncomfortable. It's not a valid reason to hide from it. So I think it's a massive, massive thing here. And I honestly feel that a lot of people in that thread, I'm going to assume that they were like, I don't think he has impostor syndrome. You might have something else here. But nobody felt comfortable. The saying like, dude, do you have other issues you're afraid of? What are you really afraid of? Because the reality is, is that he didn't do certain thing putting out content, because he had an insecurity around it. The first thing is most people don't want to admit they have an insecurity, saying I have impostor syndrome is much less achy than saying, Hey, I feel insecure about something. I'm not sure I'm good enough. And that insecurity just like, what's the fear that's causing that insecurity? And if you start really like pulling that thread that's at work, sorry. So you're gonna say something right now, that's

Dr. Emil 15:19
really interesting, because imposter syndrome to some degree, part of it is an insecurity. It isn't a security breach, it's almost like this, as you say, this, this performance of this really nice, neat box, where you can just say, the syndrome exactly without then being like, what does that mean? Oh, it means I'm insecure. And I'm not saying that in a bad way. It's something which you need to admit. I'm afraid of rejection, and whatever else. So it's interesting that that camouflage is the deeper issue in this like, pretty neat. I have impostor syndrome. These are the book section reads, get over it.

Itamar Marani 15:56
Yeah. Yeah. It's thick. It's like to get requires courage. It's what I say to people usually ask them like, what's the biggest thing you do to succeed with my with my mindset, emotional force was like, choose courage. Be really honest and vulnerable with yourself. Don't just say the surface level things. But if you're saying, Well, I have this fear of abandonment, like why? Well, because my father said this, and that to me why? Well, this and this and this, like, the deeper and deeper you can go with these things. The more you can get to the truth, like we gave that analogy at the beginning of the podcast, about, it's not just having an issue with the business, That's level one, that the profit level Tuesday, an issue is sales, That's level two, level three, with the back end, level four with the recurring back end sales. Like saying just to have impostor syndrome, That's level one. Then you go deeper, and you say, well, actually, I have a fear of judgment. That's level two, actually, I have a fear of judgment from the people I grew up around, specifically my father, as sort of a three, level four. And with this guy, this is kind of what I'm hearing from him. That's what I assumed. But he came up from a place where people didn't have a lot of money. He didn't come from a wealthy family. So he was afraid that he puts things out there, and he raises his prices, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, people are gonna think for you to do so. really recognize the fear of rejection? Because what if I make more people than the money that I grew up around? How are they going to think about me? Are they still going to accept me? Like when you get to that depth, that's when you can really try to resolve that. And once you resolve that, everything else is kind of falls apart. It's about removing the faulty foundation, so to speak.

Dr. Emil 17:30
Yeah, yeah, the courage is the key there. And, you know, almost that word in itself is just thrown around like, yeah, just have courage, which you kind of like,

Itamar Marani 17:41
have to decide is that Courage isn't something you have something you decide.

Dr. Emil 17:45
So that's it. Exactly. So that's the next level is how do you courage, right, but how do you gone?

Itamar Marani 17:53
Yeah, so I'll tackle this in a bit of a different way to people a lot of times they they want to take confident action. And that always is like, It irks me so much. Like it's such fool's gold to want to be confident. It's like, I don't use any swear. And you're like, Dude, fuck confidence. It's just it's so overrated. Like, if you're gonna be if you're waiting all the time to take confident when your action, sorry, taking action, when you're confident, actually never going to take action. Because whenever something is beyond your comfort zone, and you don't feel confident, you're not going to do it. So you're not going to grow. Like, you never hear like old stories about heroism or whatever and be where they say, this guy was so confident. And then he took action. They talked about courage and bravery, because when somebody even wasn't 100% Sure, they still did the virtuous thing of going for it. Courage is a virtue confident is not. It really is that simple. And I think a big part about courage is saying, what will I be proud that I did in hindsight, in a certain situation? That actually wait until I was confident or that I decided to do something, even though I wasn't confident I did choose courage. Does that make sense?

Dr. Emil 19:07
Yeah, entirely. And to add to that, a lot of people when they describe courage, because, you know, they're leveling up, they've heard of courage. They're like, Yeah, I'm gonna be courageous. I'm gonna, when there's a dragon, I'm scared. I'm gonna kill it. Great. Awesome. That's the big stuff. But actually, the courage starts from that tiny little micro things where you kind of this is a ridiculous example. But you're sitting in a restaurant and there's no salt on the table. You're like, Ah, I can't be bothered to ask the waitress for salt because it was put them out whatever, blah, blah, blah. That is, that is courage. In that moment, it's making a slightly difficult decision. And then from there, you escalate it like again, another example maybe there's a cute gone.

Itamar Marani 19:51
Can I queue in because I think what you're saying on a very meta level, and I agree with it, is that if you're already cornered and things are so bad, that you have to do something about it. That's not courageous. That's just like a default behavior. That's desperation. Exactly. Yeah, that's a great way of saying it's not courage, that desperation. But if you're in a position where you could kind of not have to deal with it, but you decide to do so anyway, even though you could be more comfortable in the moment you choose to be uncomfortable to do something courageous for the long term benefit of it. That's where it really matters. And that's what I'm really saying is that it's not such in the macro of like, when things are bad, and then you really take the big action, but at the micro level, like micro record is something that's more difficult, because we haven't weighed out where we don't have to choose courage. And that's the thing,

Dr. Emil 20:30
hard decisions in the moment. And taking hard choices, easy life, easy choices, hard life, and honestly, I did the arena before Christmas. And that was the biggest thing that I took away from it. And I just noticed those times in my days where I'm like, I could take the easy way out here and not do XYZ not ask for salt as the most ridiculous example. Or I could make the hard decision and, and do that. And my life is compounding in terms of how quickly it's upgrading.

Itamar Marani 20:59
And I want to say that it's because we get down to the core, your core issue in the arena. And that's why it was a you're able to do that much more easily now. Because we didn't just say, Oh, you have imposter syndrome, you have a fear of this or whatever. And people were really, really got down to the court. And because that was resolved, like everything else becomes easier.

Dr. Emil 21:16
Yeah, I mean, easier is a misnomer. It's still fucking hard, but

Itamar Marani 21:21
less hard is easier. I mean, that's the thing. That's the thing. That's the reality. It's the fallacy like people want it to just be easy. Yeah, like doing this stuff isn't just easy, never gets just easy. Now that you still have to overcome certain roadblocks and roadblocks. But if you want success, like both internally and externally, that's just the reality of it. There's no sugarcoating.

Dr. Emil 21:42
Yeah, but that first step is from impossible slash non existent to really fucking hard. So yeah, that's the kind of the gradient and then eventually, it gets less hard. But the first step is from zero to really fucking hard. Yeah. Yeah.

Itamar Marani 21:59
So I kind of want to start bringing this back a little bit. I think that on a general level, especially as men, people find it really hard to say, I'm afraid, saying, um, impostor syndrome, or sticking some surface level level, kind of, I don't know, statement or label on it, it's just much easier. But it's a way out, it's not an actual resolution, you're not actually getting clear on what's going on. And because you're not actually getting clear on what's going on, you're not giving yourself a true opportunity to resolve it and move beyond it. And I think, if you really, really want to succeed internally, so you can also succeed externally, you have to move beyond the surface level things, you have to get down to the root cause of what's going on. And you have to have the courage to look in the face and say, This is what's going on, it feels uncomfortable, but I got to own it.

Dr. Emil 22:53
To you, because what I what I was loved at this point for myself entirely, selfishly, is just the kind of a chain from the initial realization to some, not even resolution, but moving towards it, just how it how it goes. We had the example of the beginning. But that only got to the point of maybe identifying it, how did how do you then keep going beyond that?

Itamar Marani 23:17
So once you identify it, like I'm not a fan of those, you have limiting beliefs. Now, what is the positive beliefs you can replace that with? I think that doesn't really work with logic driven people in the in the moment when they get really stressed, and they fall back to their old belief systems. They're not going to say, well, actually, what's this positive belief that I decided I want to believe it? So first off, I'm not a fan of that. I haven't seen it work, really. I've seen people that get pumped up wanting to have positive beliefs, but not actually working in real time. So that's one thing. The way I think we have seen that's really helped people is to falsify these things and challenge them. So it's like you're a doctor, you have to falsify certain claims. And so let's say you have to falsify certain claims. No, oh, you have to prove them false. Yes, you have to prove them false or correct. Like before you just go on them. And I think that's the next thing. Like when he had this issue, for example of being afraid that people will judge him, his people, the people from his hometown, his family, or whatever it be, you know, that most difficult, that's called the most emotionally difficult, it's the simplest technically thing to do to just ask his parents, Hey, would you think less of me if I did this? If I started making this much money, would you judge me for it? Like that is so emotionally difficult to do, but it's the simplest path. And that's really be the most efficient way to do things. And I've had people in the ring alerted, do this. Another guy, he had a issue when he launched a big crypto business. And his father laughed at him and this was just before like one of the crashes in 2017 or 18. I'm not a crypto guy. And his father laughed at him. And his father was just saying that I can do the kind of a joking around about way and he didn't really mean He put him down. And ever since then he's had a fear of failure. And he wasn't growing his business because he was afraid. Well, what if I tried to grow too much and then fails? And then I'll prove him? Right. And you don't realize that and once you realized that was was going on, he actually talked to his father about it. That is like, really beautiful moment from what he said, and his father, like, No, I'm actually really proud of you. I think it's amazing what you've done. And since then, he's been able to move on so much faster. So I really think the first thing is asking, Is this true? Is this valid? Is this relevant? This stuff that I hope? Go for it?

Dr. Emil 25:29
So I think the first, the first step is yes, falsifying it. So identifying it, and then testing it to see whether it's true or not. I love the idea of just confronting it and speaking to parents, but sometimes with with parents with any other people, they have their own wounds, issues, bullshit, and maybe they did mean, they will have issue with you suddenly make a load of money. And yeah,

Itamar Marani 25:58
so that's great question. So let's say that the first option, that's a good more ideal scenario, yeah, that's like the easier scenario. The second thing if people have their own issues like this one that we're going to talk about in a future episode, but you gotta accept that people have their own issues. Just because somebody has their issues, and it has something to do with you, it doesn't mean that you're the cause of it. And that's the big thing. It's like, some people are gonna get upset, and they're gonna get jealous, you know why? Because you're people that like to get upset, because they're people that like to get jealous, it doesn't have anything to do with you. It's like, from personal example, I learned this very early on to not take things very, very personally. Because I'm Jewish, and I'm Israeli, and I competed around the world with an Israeli flag on my on my GI. And I get a lot of anti semitic things sent to me. And I was like, This person doesn't know me on a personal level, there's no reason for them to be saying this, this has nothing to do with me personally, this is their stuff, obviously. And it's about understanding that as well, like, that stuff is very hard, especially when it's much closer, like a parent or somebody that totally then kind of biological level you want that approval from, but it's coming to that realization that you can't you have to want the approval of your future self more than you want the approval of that person. And like that simple question. It was like I'm taking the direction of what you should be doing. Like it might still be hard if you're, if that parent figure would have said to him this and actually do think like, Who do you think you are for doing this kind of stuff? Like, you think you're too good for us? Do you think you're above us, whatever it may be, that would have been very difficult for him to put the stuff out there nice to put out. But if he would have really looked within and said like, in hindsight, well, my future self be proud that I did do it. Like, I would have been proud if I choose courage. And I put it out there anyway, even though it felt really icky, even though I know they wouldn't judge me. And I think that's really what it comes down to. Yeah, it's hard. There's no no way around it. That's where we're saying some of this stuff is hard. It's not a fairy tale.

Dr. Emil 27:53
So identifying is hard. falsifying It is then is then hard. But that's the case. I think

Itamar Marani 27:58
it's different also, like identifying it is technically hard. falsifying, it is sometimes emotionally hard, as falsifying can be very, very simple. Like, technically, just to go and have that conversation. Are you gonna go within yourself and have that tough conversation? Say, why do I believe this? Why am I afraid of this? Yeah. And like, be very vulnerable with yourself. That's very simple to do on a technical level, just emotionally, it's hard. It's two different kinds of hard, but once you're willing to do that, like, things do fall apart. Like, I'll be honest, like most of the times, I've not yet seen somebody. I have not yet worked with anybody, both in the arena and the personal stuff, and the one on ones where they've really tried to falsify something and they've not been able to let go of it. I've not seen it yet. Like, it obviously happens in different ranges. It's not a binary black and white thing. But I've not seen somebody once they've identified and tried to falsify it to not be able to figure out okay, how do I get to this goal? Now? I'm see a pathway to there. I have not seen that yet. And that's really the good news. Like it's hard, but it works.

Dr. Emil 28:57
Yeah, yeah. It's just, it's hard. As you say, there's lots of ways of approaching it. And as I recall, one of the modules in the arena, certainly when I did it was all about falsifying or testing these beliefs against whether they were true, what was it whether they're true for everyone? Yeah,

Itamar Marani 29:17
whether there's truth or not. Yeah, false beliefs or truth? Or they're actually just things that you believe to be true? Are they actually universal truths? Are there sites this and that you should abide by? Or there's some that you can like go up? Yeah, I think that's kind of like the this episode took a different turn than I expected it to. But it's really about that. It's understanding that accepting it, like there's a saying we had like, you have to go deep to be elite. And being elite, it's hard. And people got to accept that. Like, there's some hard pathways to be elite. Like once you're there, things become a lot easier once you resolve and then how you're saying it right now. It's like it's easier for you to have those kind of conversations, ask for the salt and so on and so on. Like the pathway to that If you just want to stay surface level and say things like, Oh, I just have imposter syndrome, oh, this just I have this mental block or I have, oh, I might have a limiting belief. If you're not willing to put in the work to really take yourself to the next level, you're just denying yourself that opportunity. That's the reality of it. And what I would love for more people to do is to recognize that a, that if you choose courage, and you actually go into this stuff, it is absolutely possible to come another side much, much better for it. And like be, it's your decision. You can decide to be courageous. And the sooner you decide to be courageous, not just wait until you said like, it's an act of desperation out of courage, the better off you'll be like, so please, just go ahead and do it. Choose courage. You'll never ever regret it.

Dr. Emil 30:44
Yeah, and just the final point for me, you know, we talk about impostor syndrome, limiting beliefs, as if they're a bad thing. They're still valid concepts. It's just very easy to use them as distractions and labels and not actually serve you. So okay, yeah, there is this imposter syndrome. What does that mean? Let's dig deeper into that. And then okay, I think it's this what does that mean? Let's read around the next level of depth. Let's ask the right questions. And then just keep going down to imposter syndrome is fine. It's just superficial, you just need to go deeper. So being on the journey is, is okay.

Itamar Marani 31:22
It's about like getting all the way down to the core core core core things. Because once that core dissolves, everything else just falls apart. It's kind of like don't work on a surface level issue really work on the core issue. It's just that like how you do it in your business, but inside your own head. Good to wrap it up

Dr. Emil 31:40
for today. That's me.

Itamar Marani 31:42
All right. Thank you very much, guys, and we will see you on the next episode.

Dr. Emil 31:46
Thanks, guys.

 

Itamar Marani

Itamar is Israeli ex-special forces, a former undercover agent, BJJ black belt, mindset expert and international speaker.

He’s helped hundreds of 6-8 figure entrepreneurs conquer their minds and transform themselves and their business through his coaching programs.