In September 2019 after 8 years of dedication, ups & downs, amazing experiences and a lot of self improvement I was awarded my Black Belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.

I was honored to receive all my belts from Rico Vieira, a leader and innovator of the art, a 9 time world champ and a truly amazing teacher.

The journey that brought me to this point was been a truly unique and amazing one.

I trained, competed and lived in 4 different continents, visited over 50 different countries and went through a lot. ?

In this 8 year period I started out working as a diplomat abroad, transitioned into being a full on Jiu Jitsu bum (slept on mats in Brazil and the States), then I went back to the counter terror world and was the head of security for a billionaire and finally I started out my own online business this past year. 

The afternoon after I got promoted I took time to summarize and reflect the journey that I had. I recognizes that I struggled well and hard and learned many lessons along the way.

This is something I wrote to myself for myself and is directed to myself for future reference.

But perhaps it can serve others as well or better yet, you will challenge me on these lessons and show me where I'm at fault. So here it is.

Lesson #1: Appreciate the Now

Confucius said that "We have two lives, and the second begins when we realize we only have one".
Your younger self only focused on the end goal you were pursuing.  
When you were competing in Brazil, all you cared for and thought about was winning the competition. When you were living on a tropical island in Thailand and training you were more concerned about training then stopping for a moment to appreciate the rare lifestyle you were blessed to have.
Your younger self thought that stopping to smell the roses for a moment would kill your progress.
Your older self understands that the two are not mutually exclusive... But that they actually benefit each other. 
Denying yourself happiness is unnecessary.

If you want to succeed in life, learn how to be happy with what you have while you pursue all that you want.

Lesson #2: Set Audacious Goals

Kanye once sang "reach for the stars so if you fall you land on a cloud"
When you were a blue belt you decided that your goal was to become a black belt world champion... and you told that to anybody and everybody.
You ended up competing in the worlds 3 times but never reached the podium. At purple belt you also deviated away from Jiu Jitsu towards business... Life pulled you in other ways.
But that audaciously high anchor you set for yourself left a mark.
So yes, you never reached the height of a black belt world championship podium, but because you set that incredibly high and audacious anchor as a goal in your mind, getting to black belt was simply inevitable... and here you are today.

If you want to succeed in life, expect shortcomings. Remedy that by aiming 10 levels higher and give yourself room to fail into success.

Lesson #3: "Be Effective, Not Efficient"?

One of the most disheartening lessons you learnt was to not complain, feel sorry for yourself or expect the world to reward you for having wasted A LOT of energy on the wrong thing.
This principle might manifest in various manners in your life. All the way from continuously drilling a move incorrectly on the mats to making incorrect decisions with your career or with whom you choose to have relationships with. 
Pouring your heart and soul into something and realizing that it will not bear fruits can be demoralizing, but that's life. 
Being able to look at the situation through an objective and logic driven perspective can be the difference between gaining valuable wisdom or continuing to waste your time and energy in vain.
There is no weakness in admitting that you've made a mistake, pursued something in vain and must now start from scratch. It's quite the opposite.

If you want to succeed in life, remember that you're constantly going to make the wrong decisions. While being able to push is a virtue you MUST make sure that you're pushing in the right direction.

Lesson #4: Only Focus on What You Can Control?

They say that a 3rd of the outcome will be determined by us, a 3rd by our opponents and a third is down to chaos/god.
There's no need to get into percentages, but you've cost yourself many opportunities in BJJ competitions and other fields in life because you've mistakenly given your focus to things that are outside of your control.
While it's incredibly motivating and energizing to have goals to push towards, never let outcomes occupy your focus. They're outside of your control.
The moment you focus on things that you do not have control over is the moment you give less attention to things that you actually do have. It's the moment you neglect things that can actually influence the outcome. Do not fall into this trap.
Focus solely on the necessary actions that are within your "circle of control". This will be your best strategy to get to the promised land.

If you want to succeed in life, have the discipline to avoid trying to control to outcome and keep your focus solely on what's within your "circle of control".

Lesson #5: "Your opponent is your greatest teacher" ?

The obvious "your lack of technique was exposed" part has been repeated enough times. So lets dig deeper.  
As hard as it may be, remember that every time someone or something caused you to have an emotional reaction it was because there was something within you that you were not comfortable with.
Try to remember the old proverb "If there is no enemy within, then the enemy outside can do us no harm". 
If you were comfortable with yourself and the situation at hand didn't scare you or challenge your sense of self or status then you would not have been bugged by it.
When you decided to stop pursuing BJJ full time and started to consistently lose at certain tournaments it messed with your head and made you furious. You couldn't except that there's a give and take in the world and that a part of your identity you valued and let define you could no longer exist.
Next time do not look outwards in anger and lash out, but look inwards and ask why you are feeling this way and if it serves you.
The mats have exposed your ego many times, and they'll continuously do so as you age. Be grateful for it. 
Seek to discover any enemies within that lie within your heart mind and soul.

If you want to succeed in life, seek to discover those enemies within that keep you from becoming your ultimate self.

Lesson #6: Seek Out High Level Teachers ?

To gain more wisdom in any field in life you must find high level people. These people will help you understand what actions are "effective" and will help you get to where you want to go faster and easier.
Unless you're playing a zero sum game, which you shouldn't be, there's no need to try to reinvent the wheel. Learn to model what's already working and make great efforts to find people who can show you how to do that. This can save you decades.

If you want to succeed in life, venture high and far to find high level teachers who will guide you towards success.

Lesson #7: Despise Being the Smartest Person in the Room?

"If you want to feel good about yourself, be in a room where you're the smartest. If you want to improve, find a room where everyone's smarter than you."
Jiu Jitsu made this remarkably clear to you. When you got consistently smashed in Brazil it was disheartening at times. But your best results in competitions always came after months of being smashed.
When life smashes you, don't have an emotional reaction. Instead find people who can help you figure it out, constantly ask them questions, apply the answers you receive and keep at it. If you do this then astonishing improvement is inevitable.
On the flip side be weary of getting your ego stroked. If you're constantly being looked up to on the mats or any other area in life and are being asked questions, it can feed your ego and feel good... But it's a short term ego boost. It means you're not being challenged and growing.
Happiness comes from growth, so remember to associate challenges with inevitable growth and happiness and seek them out. 

If you want to succeed in life, seek out rooms where everyone is smarter than you.

Lesson #8: Be Terrified of Blue Beltitus ?

When you were a blue belt you acted like a jackass. You had no idea how much you didn't know. You understood the basic guards and passes and thought that you had a pretty "wide" understand of this BJJ thing.
This seems to be universal concept. People who are just past the beginning stage think that they "get it". They don't yet recognize that obtaining a "wide" perspective is just the first step. The real magic comes from being able to go "deep". In the beginning you'll have no idea of how deep a rabbit hole can go so never assume you've "gotten it".
Whenever you pursue a new venture in life be very weary of not yet knowing what you don't know.

If you want to succeed in life, always be on the lookout for Blue Beltitus.

Bonus Tip: How to Recognize High Caliber People ?

An easy way to recognize if someone is of a high caliber is through the "question filter".
High level people will appreciate you respectively challenging their thought process and asking questions.
It's kind of a chicken and egg thing where a person who has a lot of good answers will be comfortable being asked questions and will even encourage it... and the reason that they've earned this wisdom is because they were open to asking and being asked challenging questions. 
If someone is bugged by you respectively asking questions recognize them for what they are. A low level player who's lack of openness will cause them to stay at that level.

If you want to succeed in life, seek out people who never shy from having their thought process challenged.

P.S. If you want to get to a black belt level in your business and mindset as fast as possible, Itamar offers 1 on 1 coaching programs and team trainings. Leave us a message below or contact us HERE for more information.